Posts Tagged ‘mom’

Stuff my mom says #5

*wakes up from nap*
Mom: omgfdsafd where’s my glasses
*gropes on table*
Mom: OMG someone moved them fffuuuu
[5 mins later]
Mom: …THEY’RE ON MY FACE.
*gets up and leaves*

Stuff my mom says #4

I’m too speechless to preface this one.

Me: *sneeze*
Mom: The ground thanks you.
Me: lolwut
Mom: You fertilized it.

Stuff my mom says #2

Sometimes she wakes up from her naps and says awkward things in her semi-lucid state.

Mom: … *wakes up* YOUR A** IS VERY.. *pause* oh wait, sorry..

Me: .. lolwut?

Mom: It’s just that I thought the back of your chair was your butt so I was gonna say it was really big.

…thanks.