Archive for the ‘Stuff my mom says’ Category

Stuff my mom says #5

*wakes up from nap*
Mom: omgfdsafd where’s my glasses
*gropes on table*
Mom: OMG someone moved them fffuuuu
[5 mins later]
Mom: …THEY’RE ON MY FACE.
*gets up and leaves*

Stuff my mom says #4

I’m too speechless to preface this one.

Me: *sneeze*
Mom: The ground thanks you.
Me: lolwut
Mom: You fertilized it.

Stuff my mom says #3

We have a globe that sits on top of a shelf, with a plant sitting a foot or so below it. My mom decided to comment on these after waking up from one of her naps (again).

Mom: Why is the world so big?

Me: Um, I’m kind of done with TOK..

Mom: Look, there’s like, green things coming out of the globe.

Me: .. that’s a plant.

Stuff my mom says #2

Sometimes she wakes up from her naps and says awkward things in her semi-lucid state.

Mom: … *wakes up* YOUR A** IS VERY.. *pause* oh wait, sorry..

Me: .. lolwut?

Mom: It’s just that I thought the back of your chair was your butt so I was gonna say it was really big.

…thanks.

Stuff my mom says* #1

While we were picking out children’s gifts for her Christmas party:

Me: “How about the frog plushy?”

Mom: “…but it’s GREEN!”

*an homage to this Twitter user. (NSFW due to language)